My doctoral student’s hired statistician killed himself last week. She met with him on a particular Friday to discuss histograms, standard deviations and the like and she never heard from him again. He was found dead in his home a week after that meeting.
After hearing of such a devastating incident, those of us who remain on the planet ask all of the usual questions: Was he depressed? Did anyone know he planned to do this? What was he thinking? Did we see the signs? Of course, there are no real answers. We speculate and then presume the one big thing (lost love, lost job, lost fortune) that could have resulted in such a tragedy.
Sometimes, though, there is no one “big” thing. TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY reveals that, sometimes, a series of little things—seemingly insignificant things—could result in a person ending his or her own life. And that is Hannah Baker’s story.
Hannah is already dead by the time the novel opens. However, prior to her suicide, she deliberately and systematically narrated thirteen audio tapes that reveal the thirteen incidents and people who tormented her to the point of self destruction. She packed the numbered tapes (and an accompanying map) into a box and shipped the package to the person responsible for Reason #1 with instructions to a) listen to all thirteen tapes, b) visit the place on the map that accompanies his narrative, and c) then pack everything up and ship the tapes and the map to the person responsible for Reason #2, etc. You can listen to the tapes here: http://www.thirteenreasonswhy.com/tapes.php .
Selfish narcissists, empathetic humanitarians and everyone in between should read TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY. Hannah’s chilling legacy reminds us that our words and actions definitely matter and that it is possible to be held psychologically accountable for the same.
Unfortunately for his friends and family (or perhaps fortunately), the statistician didn’t leave a note or a YouTube video or a series of audio tapes to explain the reasons for his own suicide. His loved ones will never know the probably complicated reason (or R3ASONS) for his untimely death and will probably speculate about it for the rest of their own lives. Very simply, though, he has become and will remain a statistic. And isn’t that ironic.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Shoptimism: Why the American Consumer Will Keep on Buying No Matter What (Lee Eisenberg)
Those of us who consider shopping cardio don’t need an entire book to tell us why we’ll “keep on buying no matter what”. An iPhone app or an automatically updated GPS leading us to the best sales at all of our favorite shops and someone to carry our bags to the car seems more useful. But since Lee Eisenberg took the time to write a book about one of my most beloved topics, I thought it was only fair to take the time to read it. I’m glad I did.
First of all, Eisenberg lives only steps away from the Magnificent Mile so when he identified this shopping Mecca as the locale for his initial research, he had me at hello. More important than geography, perhaps, was his explication of the psychology of shopping (really the focus of this book) and why we buy what we buy when we buy it. Who knew that shopping was such a science?
About halfway through this book, I reminisced about my more memorable March purchases:
• Sketchers Shape-Ups flip flops (functional and fashionable)
• Asics 2140 running shoes (even though I don’t run)
• Calvin Klein capri yoga pants (yes, I do yoga)
• Adrienne Vittadini spring outfit (professional, trendy and cute!)
• Tahari t-shirt (even trendier and cuter!)
• Burgundy Dior eyeglass frames that are adorned with giant silver “Ds” on each side (for Dior, I imagine, but conveniently also for Diana!)
And then I wondered what motivated me to buy these things. Eisenberg says it could be because:
1. Retailers have industrial-strength tools to monitor and adjust the zillion variables that influence my decision making (maybe)
2. I am impulsive and compulsive when it comes to shopping (not really)
3. I am a prisoner of desire (definitely not)
4. I am seeking instant membership in a community consisting of people who impress me as hip, rich and/or sophisticated (I am already hip and sophisticated…working on rich!)
5. I want to express myself (probably)
6. I find shopping fun and diverting—an escape from reality (definitely)
Analyzing my shopping habits proved more exhausting than the shopping itself. Throughout the process, I questioned my own motivation for buying what I buy and whether the “sell side” of retail had really infiltrated my psyche and manipulated me into my March (and years of previous) purchases. After several hundred pages of doing so only one question remains: Is Macy’s having a sale this weekend?
First of all, Eisenberg lives only steps away from the Magnificent Mile so when he identified this shopping Mecca as the locale for his initial research, he had me at hello. More important than geography, perhaps, was his explication of the psychology of shopping (really the focus of this book) and why we buy what we buy when we buy it. Who knew that shopping was such a science?
About halfway through this book, I reminisced about my more memorable March purchases:
• Sketchers Shape-Ups flip flops (functional and fashionable)
• Asics 2140 running shoes (even though I don’t run)
• Calvin Klein capri yoga pants (yes, I do yoga)
• Adrienne Vittadini spring outfit (professional, trendy and cute!)
• Tahari t-shirt (even trendier and cuter!)
• Burgundy Dior eyeglass frames that are adorned with giant silver “Ds” on each side (for Dior, I imagine, but conveniently also for Diana!)
And then I wondered what motivated me to buy these things. Eisenberg says it could be because:
1. Retailers have industrial-strength tools to monitor and adjust the zillion variables that influence my decision making (maybe)
2. I am impulsive and compulsive when it comes to shopping (not really)
3. I am a prisoner of desire (definitely not)
4. I am seeking instant membership in a community consisting of people who impress me as hip, rich and/or sophisticated (I am already hip and sophisticated…working on rich!)
5. I want to express myself (probably)
6. I find shopping fun and diverting—an escape from reality (definitely)
Analyzing my shopping habits proved more exhausting than the shopping itself. Throughout the process, I questioned my own motivation for buying what I buy and whether the “sell side” of retail had really infiltrated my psyche and manipulated me into my March (and years of previous) purchases. After several hundred pages of doing so only one question remains: Is Macy’s having a sale this weekend?
